function getwise(tag) {
/* Dooley.dk - wise word per second generator */
day = new Date()
hr = day.getSeconds()
mr = day.getMinutes()%2
if (hr == ("0") && (mr == 0)) tag=("REALITY.SYS corrupted- reboot Universe (Y/N)?")
if (hr == ("0") && (mr != 0)) tag=("The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple. - Oscar Wilde")
if (hr == ("1") && (mr == 0)) tag=("Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?")
if (hr == ("1") && (mr != 0)) tag=("First get your facts; then you can distort them at your leisure. - Mark Twain")
if (hr == ("2") && (mr == 0)) tag=("A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. - Sir Winston Churchill")
if (hr == ("2") && (mr != 0)) tag=("There are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics. - Benjamin Disraeli")
if (hr == ("3") && (mr == 0)) tag=("I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!")
if (hr == ("3") && (mr != 0)) tag=("Then there was the man who drowned crossing a stream with an average depth of six inches. - W. I. E. Gates")
if (hr == ("4") && (mr == 0)) tag=("We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.")
if (hr == ("4") && (mr != 0)) tag=("In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back. - Charlie Brown")
if (hr == ("5") && (mr == 0)) tag=("The way I see it, we're dead or we're alive.")
if (hr == ("5") && (mr != 0)) tag=("We cannot all do great things. But we can do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa")
if (hr == ("6") && (mr == 0)) tag=("Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson")
if (hr == ("6") && (mr != 0)) tag=("This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. - the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso")
if (hr == ("7") && (mr == 0)) tag=("Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. - Thomas Edison")
if (hr == ("7") && (mr != 0)) tag=("The more I study the world, the more I am convinced of the inability of brute force to create anything durable. - Napoleon Bonaparte")
if (hr == ("8") && (mr == 0)) tag=("Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.")
if (hr == ("8") && (mr != 0)) tag=("To be completely honest with oneself is the very best effort a human being can make. - Sigmund Freud")
if (hr == ("9") && (mr == 0)) tag=("I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!")
if (hr == ("9") && (mr != 0)) tag=("Music is the shorthand of emotion. - Leo Tolstoy")
if (hr == ("10") && (mr == 0)) tag=("He who laughs last thinks slowest!")
if (hr == ("10") && (mr != 0)) tag=("I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it. - Voltaire")
if (hr == ("11") && (mr == 0)) tag=("Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.")
if (hr == ("11") && (mr != 0)) tag=("YOUR opinions and way of expression to any people not close to you, will sooner or later stand as statements for the entire population you represent. - Tom Kjeldsen")
if (hr == ("12") && (mr == 0)) tag=("J'aime celui qui rêve l'impossible - I like those who dream the impossible ones. - Goethe")
if (hr == ("12") && (mr != 0)) tag=("The real world does not just exist. It's solely being real and formed by the action YOU decide to do next. - Tom Kjeldsen")
if (hr == ("13") && (mr == 0)) tag=("A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.")
if (hr == ("13") && (mr != 0)) tag=("There is no such thing as public opinion. There is only published opinion. - Winston Churchill")
if (hr == ("14") && (mr == 0)) tag=("Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.")
if (hr == ("14") && (mr != 0)) tag=("An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field. - Niels Bohr")
if (hr == ("15") && (mr == 0)) tag=("There's too much blood in my caffeine system.")
if (hr == ("15") && (mr != 0)) tag=("By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. - Benjamin Franklin")
if (hr == ("16"))
tag=("Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.")
if (hr == ("17"))
tag=("Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.")
if (hr == ("18"))
tag=("I can't talk, baby, I've got no more blood in my brain.")
if (hr == ("19"))
tag=("I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere.")
if (hr == ("20"))
tag=("Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? - Abraham Lincoln")
if (hr == ("21"))
tag=("Base 8 is just like base 10, if you are missing two fingers. - Tom Lehrer ")
if (hr == ("22"))
tag=("Disclaimer: Any errors in spelling, tact, or fact are transmission errors. ")
if (hr == ("23"))
tag=("On a clear disk you can seek forever. - Denning")
if (hr == ("24"))
tag=("Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.")
if (hr == ("25"))
tag=("There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.")
if (hr == ("25"))
tag=("Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.")
if (hr == ("26"))
tag=("Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.")
if (hr == ("27"))
tag=("I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.")
if (hr == ("28"))
tag=("Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.")
if (hr == ("29"))
tag=("I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.")
if (hr == ("30"))
tag=("If only women came with pull-down menus and online help.")
if (hr == ("31"))
tag=("Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.")
if (hr == ("32"))
tag=("Credo quia absurdum est - I believe it because it is absurd")
if (hr == ("33"))
tag=("He who asks a question is a fool for a minute; he who does not remains a fool forever. - Chinese Proverb")
if (hr == ("34"))
tag=("Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again. - Henry Ford")
if (hr == ("35"))
tag=("Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.")
if (hr == ("36"))
tag=("I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.")
if (hr == ("37"))
tag=("Have you heard about the new SuperComputer? It's so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.")
if (hr == ("38"))
tag=("All generalizations are false, including this one.")
if (hr == ("39"))
tag=("Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, 'What's in it for me?' - Brian Tracy")
if (hr == ("40"))
tag=("EASY TO INSTALL: Difficult to install, but instruction manual has pictures.")
if (hr == ("41"))
tag=("APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key.")
if (hr == ("42"))
tag=("Computer and car salesmen differ in that the latter know when they are lying.")
if (hr == ("43"))
tag=("The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible. - Arthur C. Clarke")
if (hr == ("44"))
tag=("90% of all statistics are made up")
if (hr == ("45"))
tag=("A man needs a good memory after he has lied.")
if (hr == ("46"))
tag=("A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over.")
if (hr == ("47"))
tag=("A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.")
if (hr == ("48"))
tag=("Happiness is an attitude of mind, born of the simple determination to be happy under all outward circumstances. J. Donald Walters")
if (hr == ("49"))
tag=("The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer somebody else up - Mark Twain")
if (hr == ("50"))
tag=("We are going to fight until hell freezes over, and then we're going to fight on the ice.")
if (hr == ("51"))
tag=("Every program is a part of some other program, and rarely fits. ")
if (hr == ("52"))
tag=("Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.")
if (hr == ("53"))
tag=("Machine-independent programs: Does not run on any existing machine.")
if (hr == ("54"))
tag=("One man's constant is another man's variable. - Perlis")
if (hr == ("55"))
tag=("The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.")
if (hr == ("56"))
tag=("COINCIDENCE happens.")
if (hr == ("57"))
tag=("The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.")
if (hr == ("58"))
tag=("When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge. - Albert Einstein")
if (hr == ("59"))
tag=("When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. - Alexander Graham Bell")
return tag
/* Dooley.dk - wise word per second generator */
}